Bennifer emergency
Hello and welcome to Gossip Time, a weekly guide to the stars by Allie Jones. This week: a celebrity couple faces divorce rumors, an actress tells all, and Bradley Cooper lets loose.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lynn Affleck have been legally married for 22 months. Throughout that time, they have been regularly photographed by the paparazzi. Sometimes in the photos they are having, ahem, intense discussions, but mostly they are making out and holding hands. Except for recently. People, the most obsequious tabloid that is typically loathe to contribute to celebrity divorce rumors, sounded the alarm yesterday:
AAAHHH. When People is counting the days like this, you know something’s up. Could Bennifer be…over?
Every other tabloid in America has rushed to line up the evidence. Please remain calm as we review:
J.Lo was one of the hosts of the Met Gala this month, and she went alone. Is this suspicious? Eh. Affleck is not really a Met Gala person. He’s only gone once before, with J.Lo, in 2021, and he didn’t walk the red carpet, he just showed up for the after party. Perhaps you remember the couple making out while wearing masks.
While J.Lo was in New York getting ready for the Met Gala, Affleck was back in L.A. attending Netflix’s roast of Tom Brady. Is this suspicious? No. Why would J.Lo attend the roast of Tom Brady? Couples are allowed to have different interests and skip events that sound horrible.
Affleck has been staying at a rental house in Brentwood, away from the couple’s recently purchased $60 million compound in Beverly Hills. Okay, this is suspicious. According to TMZ, Affleck has been there for about a week. He was photographed driving away from the house yesterday morning in a black BMW. It’s possible he’s staying in Brentwood to be closer to his ex-wife Jennifer Garner and their kids for some reason, but…
J.Lo was photographed “house hunting” in Beverly Hills earlier this week. She was with her longtime producing partner Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas. According to Us Weekly, Lopez is not looking for a new place to live but rather an investment property. That still sounds suspicious to me. Why does she suddenly need to make a personal real estate investment?
J.Lo also “liked” an Instagram post from a fake therapist about unhealthy relationships yesterday. JENNIFER!!!
The post, published by a “future LMHC” under the handle @yourcourageouscomeback, asserts that one cannot build a relationship with someone who “lacks integrity and emotional safety,” whatever that means. God help us.
According to InTouch, the Afflecks are for sure divorcing and planning to sell their $60 million dream house. Us Weekly, meanwhile, reports that Affleck and Lopez are having “issues in their marriage” but not splitting up. Lopez has apparently been “very focused on work” ahead of her “This Is Me…Live” tour (why is she doing that again?), and she and Affleck have been on “two completely different pages most of the time,” a source told the tabloid.
People will be happy to learn, however, that Affleck and Lopez have broken their 47-day streak and allowed themselves to be photographed getting into a car together outside one of Affleck’s kids’ school play last night. Hope springs eternal.
Back in February, when Lopez debuted her critically acclaimed (by me) documentary about the making of the “musical film” version of her new album, which is all about how much she loves Affleck, I said that Bennifer can never, ever break up, and I stand by that. They simply can’t. That is the reality I am choosing to live in at this moment.
Speaking of divorce, Sophie Turner is talking all about her split from Joe Jonas in a new cover story for British Vogue. This is a shockingly gossipy profile — celebrities really don’t provide magazines with this level of access or candor anymore, so good on her. It sounds like Turner, 28, is done done DONE with Jonas, 34, and is just fine sharing her side of this marriage story.
The piece, written by new British Vogue editor Chioma Nnadi, is worth reading in full, but some highlights:
Turner went on her first date with Jonas when she was just 20 years old after he DM’d her on Instagram; she brought her brother along because she was afraid she was getting catfished.
After they got married in 2019, “It was really surreal, like a fever dream,” she said. “Because he was older than me, I just felt like I was really taken care of, to the point I came back home and didn’t know how to do anything for myself.”
When she found out she was pregnant with their first daughter, Willa, that same year, she waited a week to tell Jonas: “I remember throwing the pregnancy test at him, saying ‘What do you think we should do? Do you think we should have it?’”
The couple’s move to Miami in 2021 was the beginning of the end. She felt isolated in their neighborhood and disturbed by Florida’s conservative politics: “We were in this community full of 50-year-old men, so imagine trying to make friends on the dog walk. I just felt like a little bird trapped in a gilded cage…Meanwhile, women in the US are being stripped of their rights, left, right and centre. It all contributed to this feeling of I have to get out, I have to get out.”
Taylor Swift was an “absolute hero” in the midst of Turner’s custody battle last fall; according to Turner, she offered her a free apartment even though the two weren’t really friends before. “I’ve never been more grateful to anyone than I am for her because she took my children and me, and provided us with a home and a safe space,” she said.
Thankfully, Turner is now back in her native England with her two daughters. Jonas has yet to respond to any of this, but I’m sure “sources” close to him will say something stupid to TMZ soon.
STUFF BY HILARY DUFF: The caption on Hilary Duff’s Mother’s Day Instagram post made me cry haha :)
Finally, have you seen this video of Bradley Cooper dancing at the Eras tour yet?
Okay, now you have.
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I need for Bennifer to stay together. I need it. I was devastated 22 years ago when they broke up, thrilled when they reunited. I can’t go through this again. That said, the whole This is Me…Now thing was a total cringe debacle. I am still so embarrassed for her. This is what happens when famous people are surrounded by too many yes people.
Joe comes off looking quite bad in the article even with Sophie clearly being polite and tactful, I also think her point about "the wives" is so cogent, women are more than plus ones!